Wooooo! Over half way there! It has flow by but seems to be going to slow at the same time. I'm getting excited now! I went through some of Mason's old baby clothes last night and everything looks good. Cody took an inventory of baby items in the attic and things are seeming to come together. I got my breast pump the other day so that was good. I found a sit and stand stroller for $50 on craigslist so we'll about that. We still need car seats but that will come. Those will be a big investment.
So I think with this baby I am going to try something new. I think I'm going to wear my baby. I am looking into some fabric baby carriers. I'm going to purchase a ring sling as soon as I get the chance and I think I'm going to try a DIY stretchy wrap. I just need some good fabric for it. Fabric.com has a good sale on the right Fabric right now but wouldn't you figure, we're broke. hahah.
I'm in total nesting mode. Mom and I are supposed to get paint sometime soon and Cody and I are supposed to paint. I'm excited. I wouldn't mind things looking better around here. I just can't wait to get ready for him. We just don't have the money to go all out right now... ever.
My next OB appt is a week from today and Mr. Kaleb's anatomy scan is the following Monday. I can't wait to see him again! It will have been 6 weeks by then that I haven't had an ultrasound.
So far we have some scares. I keep hearing decels in his heart rate with the doppler. None of the Dr.'s seem to care and think I'm being paranoid. Maybe I am but I KNOW my baby's heartbeat. I've been listening to it since it has even been POSSIBLE to listen to it! 'sigh'. He goes through period of lots of movement and no movement. The no movement periods scare me to death. I was in L&D at 20 weeks not feeling movement. Wouldn't you figure as soon as the put the monitors on my belly, he was moving all over the place. I'm NOT complaining though. I LOVE my littlest man move!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
19 weeks OB appt
Well I had a regular OB appt today. Baby is doing great. Heart rate was 151 and my uterus is measuring just a little bit ahead. Hooray! Now I have to start making a birth plan to go over with him in the next couple of visits. I really feel like we're getting down to the nitty gritty planning now. I'm getting excited/nervous!
This morning I was laying on the couch and baby boy was laying on my left side. They way he was laying was uncomfortable for me so I poked him a little bit and and got this HUGE kick and roll. It was so big I actually felt it on the OUTSIDE! That's the first I have been able to feel him move from the outside. Of course I've tried to get him to move that big again and nothing. Just his usual small movements. I guess I just really ticked him off this morning. haha!
As for the rest of my life. Cody and I are still not doing well. I think I've come to terms with that this divorce is going to happen. I've made some phone calls and we can't get a divorce until 60 days after the baby is born. We also have to be "separated" for 60 days as well. It still just breaks my heart and makes me so angry that he is doing this. I wanted my kids to grow up in a "normal" family. I'm so scared this will a lasting impression on Mason and this baby won't even get to experience a normal family. There are so many people who love both these kids so I hope that will make up for something but it's still just devastating. I just know that my main purpose in life is to be the best I can to both of my boys. With Family, Friends, and God, I know I can do it!
This morning I was laying on the couch and baby boy was laying on my left side. They way he was laying was uncomfortable for me so I poked him a little bit and and got this HUGE kick and roll. It was so big I actually felt it on the OUTSIDE! That's the first I have been able to feel him move from the outside. Of course I've tried to get him to move that big again and nothing. Just his usual small movements. I guess I just really ticked him off this morning. haha!
As for the rest of my life. Cody and I are still not doing well. I think I've come to terms with that this divorce is going to happen. I've made some phone calls and we can't get a divorce until 60 days after the baby is born. We also have to be "separated" for 60 days as well. It still just breaks my heart and makes me so angry that he is doing this. I wanted my kids to grow up in a "normal" family. I'm so scared this will a lasting impression on Mason and this baby won't even get to experience a normal family. There are so many people who love both these kids so I hope that will make up for something but it's still just devastating. I just know that my main purpose in life is to be the best I can to both of my boys. With Family, Friends, and God, I know I can do it!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
18w0d My descision to have a Natural VBAC...
Well for the past several weeks I have been toying around with the idea of a all natural Vaginal Birth after Cesarean. I think I'm going to attempt using Hypnosis as a way to cope with the labor pains or "waves" as the books call it. I'm excited but still a bit nervous about the whole thing. My plan is to labor at home as long as possible and then transfer to the hospital where I will begin "pushing". I don't want to use Staff led pushing, I would rather do it my way or "labor down". I never thought I would be writing this because I have always been PRO epidural but I feel it's time to take control of my life and my body and this is the first strep for me. In the long run, this is what's best for my baby as well.
I think we atleast have a first name picked our for newest little man. I believe his name will be Kaleb. We initially announced that his name would be Kaleb Sebastian but we got a back lash from that. Apparently no one likes the name Sebastian. Cody and I like it for but we are also considering other alternative. If we decide on a name before little man is born, it will not be announced until after delivery so then hopefully no one will comment on what a horrible name it may or may not be.
He has been moving quite a bit lately and I'm definitely starting to notice it more. I've been drinking Red Raspberry leaf tea for the past two days and when I drink it, he moves everywhere. This tea is supposed to tone my uterus and when it comes time for labor, they "waves" will be more effective. I'm still debating on using Evening Primrose oil but I don't have to worry about that for 6 weeks or so. I may hold off on that until 34 weeks. No need to accidentally rush him out of there. We want him to bake until atleast 37/38 weeks. THEN he gets an eviction notice. :-)
Mason is becoming more and more interested with "Baby Kawop" Hahaha! He asks daily where he is and everyday I have to explain that he is in my belly. He says he wants him to be here now. I wonder if that story will change after he gets here and is waking him up at night. haha. I think Mason is going to be a great big brother once we get past the initial jealousy issues that I'm sure we will have. I'm just so excited to have two baby boys. Two little men that I get to shape and mold into to GREAT men, husbands, and eventually fathers.
I think we atleast have a first name picked our for newest little man. I believe his name will be Kaleb. We initially announced that his name would be Kaleb Sebastian but we got a back lash from that. Apparently no one likes the name Sebastian. Cody and I like it for but we are also considering other alternative. If we decide on a name before little man is born, it will not be announced until after delivery so then hopefully no one will comment on what a horrible name it may or may not be.
He has been moving quite a bit lately and I'm definitely starting to notice it more. I've been drinking Red Raspberry leaf tea for the past two days and when I drink it, he moves everywhere. This tea is supposed to tone my uterus and when it comes time for labor, they "waves" will be more effective. I'm still debating on using Evening Primrose oil but I don't have to worry about that for 6 weeks or so. I may hold off on that until 34 weeks. No need to accidentally rush him out of there. We want him to bake until atleast 37/38 weeks. THEN he gets an eviction notice. :-)
Mason is becoming more and more interested with "Baby Kawop" Hahaha! He asks daily where he is and everyday I have to explain that he is in my belly. He says he wants him to be here now. I wonder if that story will change after he gets here and is waking him up at night. haha. I think Mason is going to be a great big brother once we get past the initial jealousy issues that I'm sure we will have. I'm just so excited to have two baby boys. Two little men that I get to shape and mold into to GREAT men, husbands, and eventually fathers.
Friday, January 22, 2010
17w1d We have a name... for now!
I believe my sweet rainbow boy is going to be Mr. Kaleb Sebastian Westbrooks! Hooray!!! Most people in my family don't care to much for the middle name but I love it! It's means Vinerable, Honorable. That's my little man!
Monday, January 18, 2010
16w4d IT'S A BOY!!!
Yes we are having another little boy. I'm thrilled! I thought I wanted a little girl but now that I'm having a boy, I'm super excited! Now we just need a name. hahaha. That will be the hard part. As you can tell from the pictures (that I will upload as soon as get them out of mom's car. hahaha) our little Rainbow boy is very well endowed. hehe. Way to go son! :-P
Friday, January 8, 2010
15w1d Names...
Well this past week has been emotionally draining. Cody and I are still together but honestly I don't know for how long. I feel absolutely devistated and I'm having a really hard time connecting with my baby. The first trimester I was excited but so nervous for fear of losing another little one. The minute I feel like I can relax, Cody drops a bomb shell on me. I feel horrible. This baby deserves so muh more than the poor thing is going to get.
So in the midst of all this, I'm trying to come up with names. It's really hard to name a baby that you're struggling so hard to connect with. I have come up with several names that I like but I'm not sure any of them "fit". We had one name picked out but it is WAY to popular. It was actually #1 on the namelist for last year. I grew up as Ashley F. and I HATED it. I don't want my kids growing up with an initial at the end of their name. Anyways, the long process of naming begins.
My next appt is January 18th. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed we find out the sex!
So in the midst of all this, I'm trying to come up with names. It's really hard to name a baby that you're struggling so hard to connect with. I have come up with several names that I like but I'm not sure any of them "fit". We had one name picked out but it is WAY to popular. It was actually #1 on the namelist for last year. I grew up as Ashley F. and I HATED it. I don't want my kids growing up with an initial at the end of their name. Anyways, the long process of naming begins.
My next appt is January 18th. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed we find out the sex!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
13w6d Heartbroken letter to my children....
To my beautiful Children,
Today Little one, your daddy asked me for a divorce. Mommy is heartbroken right now. I can't even put into words the pain I feel. It's not just for myself but you and your older brother. I wanted you to know what a happy family felt like. Mason is so young he won't remember the good times and you aren't even born yet. I still can't believe he is walking away. At this time he is not walking away from you or your older brother, just me. Atleast he still wants to be a father. I tried. I have begged him to work with me and I am going to try ONE MORE TIME. I love your father, so much. I can't figure out where it went wrong. I have asked him and he said "We just don't click anymore". Well, if you ask me, that's not really a reason for divorce but I have no say in the matter.
I just want you, little one and your brother to know that I love you more than anything. I would give my life for both of you. You are the only two things keeping me going right now. You two are my life savers, my angels. I'm so sorry little one, that I couldn't make this world better for you. I'll try to be the best mommy that I can. I'll try to smile even when I don't want to and laugh even though deep inside I might be crying. Why? Because you and Mason should never be affected by this. You all have done NOTHING wrong. If there is one thing your daddy and I can still agree on, it's that we both still love you more than life itself. I will do my best to keep this from hurting you both.
I love you both so much! Please don't EVER forget this.
With love ALWAYS,
Mommy
Today Little one, your daddy asked me for a divorce. Mommy is heartbroken right now. I can't even put into words the pain I feel. It's not just for myself but you and your older brother. I wanted you to know what a happy family felt like. Mason is so young he won't remember the good times and you aren't even born yet. I still can't believe he is walking away. At this time he is not walking away from you or your older brother, just me. Atleast he still wants to be a father. I tried. I have begged him to work with me and I am going to try ONE MORE TIME. I love your father, so much. I can't figure out where it went wrong. I have asked him and he said "We just don't click anymore". Well, if you ask me, that's not really a reason for divorce but I have no say in the matter.
I just want you, little one and your brother to know that I love you more than anything. I would give my life for both of you. You are the only two things keeping me going right now. You two are my life savers, my angels. I'm so sorry little one, that I couldn't make this world better for you. I'll try to be the best mommy that I can. I'll try to smile even when I don't want to and laugh even though deep inside I might be crying. Why? Because you and Mason should never be affected by this. You all have done NOTHING wrong. If there is one thing your daddy and I can still agree on, it's that we both still love you more than life itself. I will do my best to keep this from hurting you both.
I love you both so much! Please don't EVER forget this.
With love ALWAYS,
Mommy
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