What is a Rainbow Baby?

In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

11w2d Found the heartbeat yesterday!!!!

So I'm a day late but I was busy last night at my parents. We switched TVs so now we have a big screen! Woohoo! Anyways... moving on.

Yesterday afternoon on a whim I pulled out the doppler and started looking for that little heartbeat. It took a few minutes but... I found it! It was still pretty quiet but it def there! Baby was alive and well yesterday!!! You just don't know how happy that makes me! We never found "Peanut's" heartbeat on the doppler so I'm really starting to feel a bit more relaxed. I want to start getting excited and start thinking "When" we take baby home... and not "if" we take baby home. Right now I'm still trying not to think ANYTHING. I feel bad though. This baby deserves a good start. It deserves to be bonded with, and thought of. Pregnancy is forever changed after a loss. I knew I would worry constantly if/when I ever got pregnant again, I just never knew I would feel guilty for it, feel any sense of detachment (which is only in self-preservation). This baby IS loved.

I wish there was a way to record the sound and add it to the blog but I don't know how. I'm going to try again today and see if Cody or someone can get it on my phone. What a beautiful sound to listen to everyday...
Posted by Ashley at 7:34 AM

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